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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 1, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
AJ McLean

AJ McLean

Strength55
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique88
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread80
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
AJ McLean VS Black Friday Brenda
Black Friday Brenda

Black Friday Brenda

95Strength
85Speed
90Endurance
75Technique
3.5Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Black Friday Brenda
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule