TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-01-25
APPROVED
The Rock Johnson
Strength87
Speed78
Endurance84
Technique81
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rock Johnson VS Monday Morning
Monday Morning
108Strength
33Speed
94Endurance
65Technique
1.7Molecular Density
124Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
The Rock Johnson
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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