TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-04-25
APPROVED
Patch Note Pete
Strength81
Speed84
Endurance72
Technique73
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Patch Note Pete VS HOA Sniper Sally
HOA Sniper Sally
85Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
75Technique
3.4Molecular Density
77Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Patch Note Pete
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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