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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, November 4, 2025 at 4:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Beta Tester Bob

Beta Tester Bob

Strength80
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread36
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beta Tester Bob VS Auto-Correct Apocalypse
Auto-Correct Apocalypse

Auto-Correct Apocalypse

75Strength
85Speed
70Endurance
70Technique
3.0Molecular Density
41Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Auto-Correct Apocalypse
Violence concluded.
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