TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-08-25
APPROVED
The Waffle Iron
Strength70
Speed88
Endurance66
Technique76
Molecular Density3.3
Existential Dread22
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Waffle Iron VS Live Leaked
Live Leaked
78Strength
65Speed
81Endurance
76Technique
15.8Molecular Density
82Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Live Leaked
Violence concluded.
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