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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Saturday, August 2, 2025 at 9:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Waiting Room William

Waiting Room William

Strength60
Speed50
Endurance100
Technique90
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Waiting Room William VS James Hetfield
James Hetfield

James Hetfield

90Strength
75Speed
95Endurance
85Technique
3.8Molecular Density
40Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

James Hetfield
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule