TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-02-25
APPROVED
Polymer McGillicuddy
Strength88
Speed75
Endurance91
Technique80
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread65
Fingers13
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Polymer McGillicuddy VS Closing Time Tim
Closing Time Tim
85Strength
90Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
2.4Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Closing Time Tim
Violence concluded.
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