TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
Sprinkler System Sam
Strength80
Speed70
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.6
Existential Dread28
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sprinkler System Sam VS Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
70Strength
90Speed
60Endurance
80Technique
1.3Molecular Density
52Existential Dread
12Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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