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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-17-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 17, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Just Greg

Just Greg

Strength75
Speed68
Endurance55
Technique102
Molecular Density40.1
Existential Dread55
Fingers12
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Just Greg VS The Intern
The Intern

The Intern

61Strength
78Speed
95Endurance
66Technique
1.0Molecular Density
109Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Intern
Violence concluded.
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