TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-20-25
APPROVED
Wet Sock Walking Willie
Strength66
Speed79
Endurance83
Technique72
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread57
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Wet Sock Walking Willie VS Dead Houseplant Duncan
Dead Houseplant Duncan
75Strength
70Speed
85Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
64Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dead Houseplant Duncan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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