TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-26-25
APPROVED
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Strength70
Speed90
Endurance60
Technique80
Molecular Density1.3
Existential Dread52
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying” VS Ingrown Toenail Igor
Ingrown Toenail Igor
73Strength
88Speed
71Endurance
78Technique
2.8Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Clippy “It Looks Like You're Dying”
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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