TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-28-25
APPROVED
PTA Meeting Patricia
Strength65
Speed85
Endurance70
Technique92
Molecular Density2.0
Existential Dread82
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
PTA Meeting Patricia VS Caps Lock Carl
Caps Lock Carl
90Strength
70Speed
90Endurance
60Technique
3.2Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
PTA Meeting Patricia
Violence concluded.
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