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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-01-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, December 1, 2025 at 6:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Flat Eric

Flat Eric

Strength85
Speed75
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density64.9
Existential Dread39
Fingers10
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Flat Eric VS guwap
guwap

guwap

87Strength
60Speed
76Endurance
77Technique
96.7Molecular Density
56Existential Dread
13Fingers
12Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

guwap
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule