TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
Punchin Bag
Strength20
Speed40
Endurance120
Technique120
Molecular Density33.6
Existential Dread49
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Punchin Bag VS SwizzleSchtick
☠️ SwizzleSchtick ☠️
50Strength
70Speed
60Endurance
120Technique
33.3Molecular Density
96Existential Dread
8Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Punchin Bag
Violence concluded.
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