TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
☠️ Broccoli Backhand ☠️
Strength70
Speed80
Endurance70
Technique80
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Broccoli Backhand VS Febreze Frank “The Freshmaker”
Febreze Frank “The Freshmaker”
70Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
80Technique
2.4Molecular Density
10Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Febreze Frank “The Freshmaker”
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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