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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-02-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, December 2, 2025 at 2:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Deadline Debra

☠️ Deadline Debra ☠️

Strength70
Speed90
Endurance70
Technique70
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread88
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Deadline Debra VS Crouton Crusher
Crouton Crusher

Crouton Crusher

80Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
80Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Crouton Crusher
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule