TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-03-25
APPROVED
☠️ Darryl Blueberry ☠️
Strength50
Speed70
Endurance60
Technique120
Molecular Density76.8
Existential Dread77
Fingers12
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Darryl Blueberry VS Spreadsheet Specter
Spreadsheet Specter
50Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
110Technique
1.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Spreadsheet Specter
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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