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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, December 3, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Monday Morning

Monday Morning

Strength108
Speed33
Endurance94
Technique65
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread124
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Monday Morning VS Splinter Testimony
Splinter Testimony

☠️ Splinter Testimony ☠️

74Strength
81Speed
68Endurance
77Technique
1.2Molecular Density
39Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Monday Morning
Violence concluded.
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