TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-03-25
APPROVED
☠️ Autocorrect ☠️
Strength84
Speed77
Endurance56
Technique83
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread95
Fingers11
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Autocorrect VS Square Root
Square Root
57Strength
80Speed
63Endurance
100Technique
1.4Molecular Density
73Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Square Root
Violence concluded.
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