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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, December 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Elbow Pope

Elbow Pope

Strength81
Speed59
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density73.8
Existential Dread7
Fingers11
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Elbow Pope VS Granite Sinclair
Granite Sinclair

Granite Sinclair

99Strength
52Speed
97Endurance
52Technique
2.8Molecular Density
3Existential Dread
0Fingers
0Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Granite Sinclair
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule