TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-05-25
APPROVED
Nancy From HR
Strength63
Speed87
Endurance79
Technique61
Molecular Density83.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers12
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nancy From HR VS Elbow Pope
☠️ Elbow Pope ☠️
81Strength
59Speed
70Endurance
90Technique
73.8Molecular Density
7Existential Dread
11Fingers
6Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nancy From HR
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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