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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-16-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, January 16, 2026 at 1:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Punchin Bag

Punchin Bag

Strength20
Speed40
Endurance120
Technique120
Molecular Density33.6
Existential Dread49
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Punchin Bag VS First Sunday
First Sunday

First Sunday

95Strength
120Speed
20Endurance
65Technique
81.2Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
15Fingers
6Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

First Sunday
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule