TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
Nancy From HR
Strength66
Speed87
Endurance84
Technique63
Molecular Density83.0
Existential Dread100
Fingers12
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nancy From HR VS Captain Hindsight
Captain Hindsight
58Strength
92Speed
71Endurance
79Technique
1.1Molecular Density
84Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Nancy From HR
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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