TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
Mike Tyson
Strength98
Speed85
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread25
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Mike Tyson VS Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
70Strength
80Speed
90Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Violence concluded.
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