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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, January 19, 2026 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Rock Johnson

The Rock Johnson

Strength90
Speed80
Endurance85
Technique85
Molecular Density3.5
Existential Dread20
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Rock Johnson VS Polymer Paradise
Polymer Paradise

Polymer Paradise

91Strength
77Speed
89Endurance
79Technique
3.7Molecular Density
37Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Rock Johnson
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule