TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-19-26
APPROVED
Beef Injection
Strength92
Speed85
Endurance89
Technique75
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Injection VS Gordon Ramsay
Gordon Ramsay
86Strength
92Speed
85Endurance
97Technique
2.8Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Beef Injection
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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