TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-22-26
APPROVED
Static Cling
Strength61
Speed89
Endurance78
Technique72
Molecular Density0.0
Existential Dread76
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Static Cling VS Serif
Serif
47Strength
88Speed
78Endurance
87Technique
0.8Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Static Cling
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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