TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-23-26
APPROVED
Bob Ross
Strength30
Speed40
Endurance95
Technique100
Molecular Density1.2
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Bob Ross VS Captain Yawnpunch
Captain Yawnpunch
55Strength
38Speed
88Endurance
84Technique
1.2Molecular Density
67Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
Authenticate via Discord to access violence wagering systems