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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 22, 2025 at 11:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Nasty Nick

Nasty Nick

Strength52
Speed63
Endurance53
Technique72
Molecular Density1.9
Existential Dread35
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Nasty Nick VS Black Friday Brenda
Black Friday Brenda

Black Friday Brenda

106Strength
97Speed
102Endurance
80Technique
3.5Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Black Friday Brenda
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule