TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
08-23-25
APPROVED
Dank Dill
Strength75
Speed75
Endurance75
Technique75
Molecular Density45.2
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dank Dill VS Pocket Protector Pete
Pocket Protector Pete
50Strength
40Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
1.5Molecular Density
75Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dank Dill
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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