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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-28-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, August 28, 2025 at 5:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence"

Strength40
Speed98
Endurance55
Technique88
Molecular Density0.8
Existential Dread85
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
TikTok Tiffany "Viral Violence" VS Lasagna Layer Lord
Lasagna Layer Lord

Lasagna Layer Lord

85Strength
60Speed
95Endurance
88Technique
3.6Molecular Density
55Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Lasagna Layer Lord
Violence concluded.
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