TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-05-25
APPROVED
Regional Manager Dave
Strength70
Speed45
Endurance85
Technique90
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Regional Manager Dave VS Void Gazer Supreme
Void Gazer Supreme
70Strength
80Speed
70Endurance
99Technique
0.9Molecular Density
100Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Regional Manager Dave
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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