TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-05-25
APPROVED
Empyrean Angel
Strength70
Speed40
Endurance100
Technique90
Molecular Density25.4
Existential Dread8
Fingers6
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
Empyrean Angel VS Shuffleboard Shirley
Shuffleboard Shirley
50Strength
75Speed
85Endurance
95Technique
1.3Molecular Density
50Existential Dread
10Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Empyrean Angel
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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