TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Self-Checkout Stan
Strength77
Speed67
Endurance93
Technique83
Molecular Density2.8
Existential Dread90
Fingers9
Toes11
TALE OF THE TAPE
Self-Checkout Stan VS Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
70Strength
80Speed
90Endurance
92Technique
2.1Molecular Density
60Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Librarian Linda "Shush of Death"
Violence concluded.
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