TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
10-03-25
APPROVED
Spandex Nightmare
Strength75
Speed90
Endurance78
Technique92
Molecular Density2.9
Existential Dread50
Fingers12
Toes8
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spandex Nightmare VS Polymer McGillicuddy
Polymer McGillicuddy
88Strength
75Speed
91Endurance
80Technique
4.2Molecular Density
65Existential Dread
13Fingers
7Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Polymer McGillicuddy
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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