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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
11-03-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Monday, November 3, 2025 at 8:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
The Terms of Service

The Terms of Service

Strength102
Speed30
Endurance85
Technique73
Molecular Density2.1
Existential Dread101
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Terms of Service VS Passive Voice
Passive Voice

Passive Voice

52Strength
86Speed
73Endurance
89Technique
1.1Molecular Density
81Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Terms of Service
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule