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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Crouton Crusher

Food-Based Furies Existential
☠️
RECORD 5W 4L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Crouton Crusher

LORE

Takes three lunch breaks, claims it's not for eating.

Combat Attributes

Strength
80
Speed
60
Endurance
80
Technique
80

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type crouton dust
Horoscope Taurus
Molecular Density 2.9
Existential Dread 25
Fingers 10
Toes 10
Ancestors 12
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights