TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-04-25
APPROVED
Spreadsheet Specter
Strength47
Speed58
Endurance78
Technique107
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spreadsheet Specter VS Crouton Crusher
Crouton Crusher
80Strength
60Speed
80Endurance
80Technique
2.9Molecular Density
25Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Crouton Crusher
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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