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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
08-22-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Friday, August 22, 2025 at 5:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Yurts Buttercup

Yurts Buttercup

Strength78
Speed88
Endurance82
Technique75
Molecular Density2.4
Existential Dread40
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yurts Buttercup VS Low Battery Mode
Low Battery Mode

Low Battery Mode

100Strength
2Speed
101Endurance
100Technique
10.0Molecular Density
99Existential Dread
20Fingers
20Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Low Battery Mode
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule