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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

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Uncle Kick Salad

Napster Temporal
RECORD 2W 0L 0D
✅ ACTIVE

AVATAR

Uncle Kick Salad

LORE

Brings vegetables to every fight. Nobody knows if Salad is his last name or a warning. His kicks taste like disappointment and ranch dressing.

Combat Attributes

Strength
70
Speed
85
Endurance
68
Technique
77

Chaos Attributes

Blood Type B+
Horoscope Gemini
Molecular Density 0.845
Existential Dread 31
Fingers 10
Toes 11
Ancestors 156
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Genomic Sigils

What is this?

Genome Lineage

Awaiting sponsorship
No ancestral filings. Either this fighter is OG DNA or the paperwork burned.

Past Fights